F*&K YOU CANCER!

Cancer is a fucking bitch and it has entered my life without any invitation whatsoever. My little sister (in her twenties) was just diagnosed with breast cancer. This is the little sister that has danced in Barcelona, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and biked around the gardens of Versailles. Now she's having to take on the shittiest of adventures. Amazingly, she has the best attitude of anyone in the family. My motto for this whole mess is: Fuck it and Fight it.

P.S. My "boyfriend" stood me up/dumped me at a hotel. He said he needed to see me and with all teh new shit going on, I needed to see him. We decided to meet halfway between our two cities. I arrived first and booked a room. He never showed...or called. That was twenty-four hours ago.

Things I'm Loving:

-Hot tamales candy
-The thought of my upcoming vacation
-Knocking things off of the thirty before thirty list
-Exercise (particularly after brushing my teeth and taking a shower. Weird, I know. There's something about a clean sweat I suppose...
-Pretzel bread
-The Strain book series
-The t.v. show Modern Family
-The beach (today.tomorrow.forever)
-My new netbook
-Quiet neighbors (fingers crossed)
-Sleep
-Four day work weeks!!
-My two new pairs of OeTZI3300 shoes (so comfy)
-The absence of rain
-The fact that I've returned to blogging!

Things I'm Hating

-The gal at work who is all talk when it comes to getting work done
-Faking it (not like that)
-The humidity
-That my fav bloggers aren't updating regularly
-The way I feel when I wake up in the morning (sore! ... from running)
-The dread of dentist and doctor appts
-Math (today.tomorrow.forever)

Happy Sunday!

Apocalypse Now?

My...my...my...it's been a while! And there's absolutely nothing moving on the guy front. We're at the famine stage of the previous post. Don't get me wrong, I still occasionally do an IM booty call to the guy who reciprocated when I decided to let him go (were you able to follow me there?). Not for sex mind you but just to make myself feel that some guy out there will talk to me without me paying him or posting a slutty pic online. Now, if he asked me to send him a slutty pic...hmmm...sadly, I might consider it though nothing will ever come out of that relationship. Why can't I cut the dang cord!?! Semi side note: Oddly enough, I do know that when a decent guy comes along I could easily drop him like a hot potato. I don't know what that says about me and whether that's healthy or not. Oh well. Hopefully, some day, we'll see.
Speaking of seeing...I went to see The Bridesmaids this afternoon and I LOVED IT! I was laughing out loud and even shed a few tears. I must note that though I did laugh out loud, it was nothing like the donkey bray of a laugh the dude one row back had!! At one point, everyone in the theatre turned to stare at him in sync! I'm not kidding. Quite obnoxious.

Let's see...what else...my foray into online dating continues. I'm not sure if I have a bad pic up or what but since I changed it, the hits on my profile have drastically decreased. I want to post another one but I don't want to be "that" girl. In other words, I don't want to appear as desperate as I am...Did I just overshare?

I've been on an exercise kick that I am quite proud of! Every single morning my body protests what I'm doing to it but I figure eventually it will thank me. Perhaps when I'm able to walk proudly down the beach in a bikini without cowering. That confidence thing is a killer.

To anyone who happens to stop by and read, please say hello so this doesn't feel so much like a self-help diary ;) Thanks!

Alright, I'm off to sit in the sun for a bit (with the appropriate amount of SPF protection of course! ~Georgie

P.S. How about that non-Apocalypse?

Feast or Famine

I'm so confused! But in a good way...I think. Guy who I ended things with(because things had never really begun)after six months of online chat...is back. BUT it took him three weeks so once again I'm in that skeptical mode. What, did he have trouble finding someone as good as my fabulous self? Did he really miss me? Is he now just out for revenge? I could SO be a conspiracy theorist! Now, did he call me? No. Did he write me a letter? No. While I was chatting to another guy on the online dating website that we met on...his IM window pops up and I accepted it. He began furiously typing saying that I couldn't say no to what we could be or that it was over, that he does want to meet me very much, that he likes me and that because our past relationship experiences are so vastly different that's why he's going at such a snails pace. And then the kicker: I'm the first person he's talked to or had feelings for since his divorce and he's not sure what's fast or not and is not good at saying how he feels.

WHAT DO I DO?

Should I even buy any of this? And what has made me so cynical and afraid of getting hurt? Especially since once I threw myself back out there on the site I've found quite a few possibilities and there's also the fact that I'm half waiting on the guy that I kind of loved to pop up again as he does at the most inopportune moments.

We shall see...

How to ask for a raise

How does one ask for a raise? What? You saw the title and thought that this would be a "How to"? Not so much. I know I'm worth more than what I'm currently being paid and it's never more evident than when I'm out of the office for a day and there's a communication/understanding/productivity/overall office breakdown.

I feel I should immediately walk in tomorrow, stop in front of my boss's desk and say, "Show me the money because (as you saw yesterday), I'm more than worth it."

Oh if I only I had the balls! Which is another thing. If I had balls,there's no doubt about it that I would be paid more. It seems I get fu%$ked coming and going.

Missing in Action AKA Kidnapped by the Toker

Where the heck have I been you wonder? I've been living it up with the toker/maryjane smoker. I know. I told you I was going to run but I didn't. I wasted about a half a year of my life texting and flirting with him. Did we ever talk on the phone? No. Did we ever meet? No. He said he was taking it slow because he felt we had something special. Even as I type this, I think to myself: GEORGIE...WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?! Apparently I was thinking that I want love or at least like with someone. Apparently I was also being a glutton for love's punishment (yet again). After countless nights texting each other to sleep, I "broke things off" after Valentine's Day came and went with...nothing. That was my long overdue wake up call. I told him that I wanted to be with a guy who ACTUALLY WANTED TO MEET ME and one who wanted to actually kiss rather than just talk about it. I ended my Dear John e-mail by saying that I refused to be the crazy internet girl who liked a guy who could never like her back. So...there you have it. Dumb Guys 5/ Georgie's Heart 0.

I'll be damned if I give up though. How hope springs eternal, I'll never know.

Pajama Day

I have spent all day long in my pajamas watching Dawson's Creek. Sadness (but not to be admitted to anyone but the blogosphere: pure awesomeness)! Oh, teenage angst I miss thee! The Christmas tree is lit, presents are wrapped and the pizza should be arriving shortly. Georgie out.

Coach, Put Me in the Game (aka): Gotta Have Heart

I had a conversation with my little sister last night who has decided to swear off guys for the foreseeable future. She says she's tired of playing the game, putting herself out there and not finding anyone of interest, or anyone who is interested in her. She likened herself to a football player who has been red-shirted and is actually happy to stay on the bench. I, on the other hand, am that underdeveloped pipsqueak that in all actuality should not be allowed on the field but begs the coach game after game to "just put me in". I take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. The dating world has not been all that good to me but I still respect it and want to draw all that I can from it. My heart has been kicked, crushed and crapped on but the dang thing keeps on beating and holding out hope that there is some random fabulous guy out there just for me. And it's absolutely fine if he's fabulous in no one's eyes but my own. So, put me in coach! I can take it! Please! I may not have what it takes physically but you can't deny that my heart is in the game.